I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
