i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
