I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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