I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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