he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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