I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
