Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
