I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
