whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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