We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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