id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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