Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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