We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
