I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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