she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
