just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't think brook has ever known best
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
