if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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