I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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