At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize