I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
