Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
