dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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