I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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