if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Buhtt sex?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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