I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
