Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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