terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
