I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
