I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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