just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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