I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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