Will you blow on my dice?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
