I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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