Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
