He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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