My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
