Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hell yes lets make some ravioli
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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