I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
