No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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