It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
