I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
