There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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