He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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