Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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