So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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