with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize