Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
