...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
