Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
