At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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