saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
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Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
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i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.