Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
