That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
