Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
