I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
