Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
