No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
