the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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