i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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