just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
