Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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