I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
