Non-Jews are for practice
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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