420 ftw
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
