If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
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Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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