Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
